I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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