Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
