the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Idk if I want to put a bra on
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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