she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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