Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
