I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
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i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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