Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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