Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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