hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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