I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
