Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I just had sex on a roof
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
