my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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