Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
