Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
