she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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