Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
