Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
