Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
