The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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