She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
