She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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