do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
