Hey man sorry I got all grabby
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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