I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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