I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
