she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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