There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
