How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
