Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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