whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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