it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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