When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
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