hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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