I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize