You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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