Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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