white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize