did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
