How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
