Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
