ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
