Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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