You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
