Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
