so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
