On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
