Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
