12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
