This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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