it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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