i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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