your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
