If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
