We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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