Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
