so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
