TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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