the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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