Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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