you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
