hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
