just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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