On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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