Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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