Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
