we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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