Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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